Finding A Lover Was Never This Hard
by DracosQueen180
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto go around Kohona looking for somebody to join in their fun. They find quite a few people that they would like to play with that are already taken. They finally realize the most obvious choice. Yaoi. It is NOT Sakura!


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did I would be rich and have already taken over the world.

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"Sakura please?" was the first thing Kakashi and Sasuke heard as they approached the training grounds.

"No Naruto, I will not sleep with you for the last time!" she screamed back.

"But I need to get laid" he argued back. She just hit him. That was when they noticed Kakashi and Sasuke.

"Ooh, Sasuke will _you_ sleep with me?" questioned Naruto.

"I guess" he answered to everyone's shock.

"But Sasuke, I was saving myself for you" sad Sakura close to tears.

"I've always hated you, you're a bitch, I would never sleep with you. Now go die" he told her.

She ran off crying and screaming "Sasuke's not gay!" at the top of her lungs. The three ignored her. Naruto walked over to Sasuke and pulled him close. Sasuke then wrapped his arms around Naruto also.

"So Kakashi, want to join us?" asked Sasuke with a smirk.

"I would, but Iruka would probably kill me" he told them.

"Want a foursome then?" said Sasuke. Kakashi's one visible eye rolled.

"That would be a great conversation. Hey Iruka, would you sleep with the person you consider a son and his boyfriend? No matter how much I want to I'm not going to be sleeping on the couch for a month" said Kakashi.

Naruto and Sasuke just shrugged and walked off, to find someone else to join in their 'fun'. The first person they came across was Kiba. They looked at eachother having a silent conversation with their eyes, they came to a decision and Naruto walked to the front of Kiba and Sasuke to the back. They then pushed themselves flush against Kiba.

"Hey Kiba, want to come have hot man sex with us?" asked Sasuke into Kiba's ear. Naruto leaned down and started nibbling on Kiba's neck.

"Guys I'm sorry but I am already doing that with Hinata and Shino this evening" he sighed.

They backed up at once. "Fine, we'll just go find somebody else" said Naruto as he dragged Sasuke away.

The next victim, I mean unlucky soul, I mean... aw screw it. It was Shikamaru. "Shikamaru! We need someone else to sleep with and your sexy so would you please be that someone?" yelled Naruto as Sasuke and him walked up to Shikamaru.

"You guys are so troublesome" he said "I'm sorry I cant me, Choji, Ino, and Asuma have plans of our own tonight" he told them before he fell to the ground asleep.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at him, then stepped over him in search of yet another person. Suddenly Naruto was tackled to the ground by none other than Konohamaru.

Before Naruto could tell him to get off he heard Sasuke say "Don't even think about asking him."

Naruto looked up at Sasuke and said "I would never ask him you pervert! He's a kid!"

"Ask me what?" Konohamaru said getting up off of Naruto.

"You see when a boy and another boy love eachother very much they sometimes like to include other boys in on the love too" said Sasuke.

"I don't understand" said Konohamaru.

Before Sasuke could go into more detail Naruto said "We'll tell you when you're older. Sasuke you are becoming another Kakashi." Sasuke just looked around innocently.

"Well we should be going I'll talk to you later" said Naruto pulling Sasuke away before he could scar Konohamaru for life.

The next people they came upon freaked them out a little bit. Gaara and Kankuro were making out. Sadly this was not the most disturbing thing about that picture. They were both dressed up as girls. Naruto heard Sasuke say a mumbled "kinky."

Gaara was in an all pink supershort dress. Kankuro was in a bra and thong. Kankuro's six pac looked very nice to Sasuke and Naruto. Just as they were about to ask if Kankuro would join them Gaara got the crazy person look in his eyes. "He's mine, my precious" he told them in his scary I-stalk-little-kids voice.

"Yes Gaara I'm all yours" Kankuro told him, mostly to keep him from killing Sasuke and Naruto. They decided they had seen enough of the crazy brothers and started running away. "Don't tell Temari!" they heard from over their shoulders.

They didn't think that would be a problem. They looked in front of them to where Sakura was kissing Temari. As you can see Temari was otherwise occupied. They decided that all people from Suna were crazy.

They were walking along when they came across Neji. "Hey Hyuuga wanna get laid?" asked Sasuke.

"By you and Naruto? No thanks. It is my fate to have more important people to screw" said Neji who seemed to be looking around for someone. They soon found out who as Neji went skipping away saying "Oh Lee my youthful buttercup where are you?"

"He's on crack" said Naruto. Sasuke nodded in agreement. "Let's go look that way" said Naruto pointing in a random direction. Sasuke nodded again.

They turned a corner and "My eyes! My eyes! My fucking eyes! My still slightly innocent eyes!" screamed Naruto. They had found Kakashi and Iruka. Let's just put it this way, you thought Kankuro and Gaara were kinky.

Sasuke pulled Naruto away and to another direction. After Naruto calmed down he realized something.

"Hey have you noticed that almost everyone has been already taken by their teammate?" Sasuke's eyes widened then he smirked.

"Naruto who is our other teammate besides Sakura?" Naruto then smirked too. They changed direction, hoping to somehow find Sai. They were extremely lucky because they automatically found Sai. They walked up to him and each took one arm before starting to drag him in the direction of Sasuke's house.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Sai.

"We wanted to do a little bonding as teammates. We also have something to show you. " said Naruto.

"Two somethings" added Sasuke.

"What do you have to show me?" asked Sai.

The last thing you could hear before they were in Sasuke's house was Naruto saying "Well lets just say that after today you won't ever call me dickless again."

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There is that pointless little thing. I originally started writing that and didn't even plan on finishing it but my friend made me finish and is now making me post it. So I hope you are happy Nina. I hope this wasn't bad and I also hope this was funny. If it isn't you have my permission to blame my friend. XD Please review!

Lynn


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